smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
