People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
