Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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