it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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