Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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