playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
