so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
