dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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