We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
