What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
