PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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