he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
