didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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