I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
