I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize