I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you will always have a special place in my vag
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
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I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
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My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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