You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We talked him into tasing himself.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
