he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
