have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i black out too much to be "responsible"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
