That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
