Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
