White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
