She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So here I am, sexting at work.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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