You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
