I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
