For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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