Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
