I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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