At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
