You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
