Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
