So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
