so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
