i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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