worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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