ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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