playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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