I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
vagina is talking i cant
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
