you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
