Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
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