Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
