okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
