ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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