I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dick very happy bro
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
