You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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