In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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