we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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