I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
