Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
That accounts for only three of the penises
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
