at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
