i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
