come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
sex in a hospital.. check
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
