she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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