Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
