I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize