Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
