All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
