i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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