It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
